


I'll hold onto you (in fiction)

by bbytaebin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, basically fluff, but a lil bit of angst bcuz you know me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5901853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbytaebin/pseuds/bbytaebin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan tries to whisper comforting words, but they all turn into verbal mush at the sound of that little giggly snort and Luhan's ready to scream at this poor sobbing boy in his arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll hold onto you (in fiction)

**Author's Note:**

> I read Luhan and Yixing got into fights a lot and just liked to annoy each other so this happened I don't even know.

Luhan's fingers absentmindedly tapped the table, along to the beat of some girl's pop song on the radio he remembers watching Jongin dance to once. He remembers the people around him laughing and smiling, some like Tao making jealous jeers at his form and the song choice but Jongin didn't care, he didn't look up from where the music swallowed him up, body moving with grace and flowing like his bones were made of water. He misses times like that.  
He misses a lot of things, now that Luhan thinks about it. He hadn't thought about it often, but due to more than a pitiful seconds thought has let him realize he did miss things, like his family and his normalcy and the obvious things.   
But more than that, he misses Minseok.  
He misses the way Minseok's eyes used to light up at anything the members did that at all traced to anything Chinese. The way his eyes shaped into crescents when he smiled, which was often. He especially misses the way Minseok's hands felt on his skin, the constant burn they left even after leaving. The way his hands felt so soft, so much like home.   
Where is home?   
Luhan doesn't even remember the meaning of the word, always flown about and staying in hotel rooms and even the room at his dorm just doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel like he's safe and secure and content, and he's quiet when people ask about his dorm in the context of 'home'. That is no home. He has no home.   
But despite his lack of fondness for the word, it's something he longs for. It's something he wishes and hopes for and he wants so badly that he wants to scream in frustration. He does. He spends time pulling at his hair and creasing his brow and just being angry about things he has no control over and when in a good mood, particularly likes.  
Luhan stops tapping when the door opens, and he hears the padding of soft footsteps.   
"Luhan, I'm here!" Minseok drags out the 'a' in an attempt to be like one of those couples in a drama he remembers Luhan gushing over the other day, and Luhan acknowledges his efforts with a slight laugh and a hug.  
If there ever was such thing as a home, and Luhan had one, Minseok's arms would be it.  
He wiggles his face as far as he can into Minseok's neck, as if trying to hide in there forever, and Minseok laughs.  
God, Luhan loves his laugh. Luhan could listen to his laugh all day, and his failed attempts at pretty much everything he tries really seems worth it when that laugh makes an appearance, and Luhan swoons, most of the time outwardly.   
"You smell like a wet dog." Luhan laughs, and Minseok pouts.  
"I break my back to get here, and all you care about is my smell?" Minseok's voice is laughing, despite the content of the question.  
Luhan laughs, and nods, telling him to go take a shower, and then they'll talk.  
After twelve failed attempts of trying to convince Luhan to shower with him, Minseok gives up with a pout, and stomps his way to the bathroom childishly.  
Luhan will miss this. He'll be promoting his new songs in China and won't be able to see Minseok, and he doesn't know how he'll hold up without this man making him happy and curing his stresses constantly, and he thought of not seeing him as often as he does, despite that being not often, makes Luhan choke up a bit.  
He smiles through his tears when he caches a melody sounding suspiciously like Luhan's new song wafting through the apartment and he's impressed but Minseok doesn't want to make it any easier for him to leave, because right then he realizes how much Minseok actually means to him and the realization makes Luhan drop the spoon he doesn't remember picking up.  
Minseok comes out a few minutes later, met with a teary Luhan and a wet spoon on floor, and Luhan shouldn't have expected anything less than for Minseok to blow this out of proportion.  
"Oh my god! Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!" Luhan laughs, Minseok really wants him to stay apparently.  
"I-I'm okay, Min-ge." Luhan smiles back and in that moment he's decided something.   
There is no such thing as home.  
But whatever the definition was, he'd gladly compare it to right here, right now, crying and laughing and Luhan swears he's never felt more personally attacked in a good way.  
"Are you sure?" He's such a piece of trash, that Minseok. Always caring, annoyingly cute.  
"I am now."   
Minseok laughed, nuzzling his face into Luhan's collarbone in another hug.  
"You're a dork." He hummed, sending vibrations that made him slightly ticklish, but Luhan was a man, and men don't giggle.   
Luhan giggled anyways when Minseok blew hot air onto his cold skin.  
"Yeah, but you're ten times worse." Luhan was laughing now too, he had managed to pull Minseok to the couch, and now they were having an impromptu wrestling match, which Luhan was totally winning, despite the fact that Minseok was on top, pinning him.  
Minseok gasped in faux hurt, but couldn't stop his lips from twitching up.   
"Well, I guess we'll be dorks together!" Minseok claimed, leaning down and pressing his lips to Luhan's.  
A cough was heard.  
"I, uh, just came because Jongdae said I should give this to you but if you're busy then.." Yixing was at the door, holding two takeout boxes and looking at their couple's exposed skin from where their shirts rode up abashedly.   
Luhan growled, pushing Minseok off him, grabbing the food from Yixing and shoved him back out the door. Minseok rushed to the window, opened it, and yelled his thanks to Yixing who was retreating quickly, with pink tinting his cheeks and ears.   
"You didn't even lock the door?"   
"Didn't think my bandmate would come with food." Minseok shrugged.  
Luhan growled again, practically sitting on Minseok, who shoved him off to go get bowls.  
Minseok only returned with one.  
Minseok giggled, looking at Luhan, who looked right back, confused.  
"Where's the other one?"  
"If you're going to growl like an animal, eat like one."  
Luhan growled again, going to get himself a bowl, while muttering expletives.  
He could hear Minseok snorting from in the kitchen.  
He was lucky Luhan loved him.  
But Luhan knew he was just as lucky, maybe even more so, that an absolute ethereal being like Minseok loved him. They way his eyes fluttered closed when he laughed, the little giggles that absolutely drove Luhan insane, making him want to tug his hair out and kiss Minseok senseless at the same time. The way his little giggles turned into soft snorts that Luhan's sure anybody else doing would sound repulsing but he somehow made sound adorable and sexy at the same time, and if those little half giggles half snorts were the last thing he heard, Luhan wouldn't have any complaints.  
And then they're on the couch and eating slightly lukewarm dishes of noodles and pork and Luhan's still angry he has to leave and he thinks he may be slightly giving it away after Minseok stares in his direction at the sound of Luhan severely puncturing the cardboard of the box in a rage being taken out on a poor piece of pork.  
"Are you okay?" Minseok hums, and Luhan knows Minseok knows the answer, but he appreciates the fact that Minseok gives him the option to confess before he's grilled more than the pork they're eating by a concerned-to-the-point-of-being-unreasonably-so boyfriend.  
If you could even call Minseok his boyfriend anymore. They hardly saw each other, dates hat were supposed to be romantic either forgotten or evolving into sitting far away on the couch watching some bad variety shows, little titters of comments shared if they're lucky.   
He almost forgot what this was like, a comfortable evening without fighting the urge to leave the room because it might as well have just been him sitting and eating with how silent Minseok seemed to be lately.   
"Y-Yeah I'm fine." Luhan knows he's done for on that one slightly stuttered syllable, since immediately Minseok's brow is arched and the creases by his eyes from his smile are missing, uncharacteristically.   
Minseok's manages a laugh, one of those little snorts and Luhan feels like he's going to pass out, the little noise combined with the thought of leaving so soon making his brain fuzzy. His eyes just closed when he hears a little sniffle, and before it's even done, his eyes have flown open, and Luhan's sure he looks like a crazed animal ready to kill.  
Minseok's eyes are glassy, an unusual combination of red and brown foreign on this boy who always is so happy, who's always so caring as to wait until he's alone to cry, and Luhan fights the urge to grasp Minseok and tug him to his chest.  
The urge is too strong, and Luhan ends up doing it anyway. Minseok's crying into his shirt, creating two parallel tear spots on his shirt, awkwardly leaning into Luhan's stomach as Luhan's fingers are swirling soothing patterns onto the back of Minseok's hair. Minseok's fingers have curled to latch onto the collar of Luhan's shirt, pulling him closer, as if being pressed flush together wasn't close enough.  
Luhan tries to whisper comforting words, but they all turn into verbal mush at the sound of that little giggly snort and Luhan's ready to scream at this poor sobbing boy in his arms.   
He doesn't even know what started this little crying fit, and he's too scared to ask, too scared it'll ruin the illusion that right here and right now Luhan doesn't leave, he doesn't want the truth to shatter this picture of the complete and utter simplicity of a boy and his boyfriend just crying together on the couch, a place Luhan doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to have to remember, he doesn't want to have to think back on this place on a plane or bus and have to think up the phantom ghost of a touch he could have right here, so effortlessly, so quickly. The thought sends him reeling backwards on the couch, pulling Minseok closer than Minseok was pulling him.  
Minseok doesn't ask him either, just joins in on the pulling and they've bumped heads more than once but now Minseok's laughing loudly and Luhan would take a thousand more head bumps—hell, he'd take more—harder than this just to stay here and laugh and cry instead of leaving to another country and having to recount this thing he wishes would last forever.

He's cut off from sleep by a manager walking into his dressing room, and informing him—quite loudly, Luhan notes dryly—it's time to perform, and the sight of a sleeping Minseok with earphones in his ears, face illuminated by only the screen he's being reflected on, makes Luhan smile, despite the soft ache in his heart, and he's only thinking about that as his manager scolds him for smudging his eyeliner in his sleep, but he's still fuzzy from sleep and his dream and Minseok's sleeping face so he waves him off with a slight smile, getting of the make up artists to fix it easily, and he's still happy and smiley while he disconnects the skype call, planning to make it up to Minseok that he disconnected first. He's still a grinning mess when his manager reminds him he's about to go in stage and most politely asks him 'what he's on' and respectably bows after Luhan waves him away again.  
He can't wait to go home. Yeah, home. He can't wait to go back home with Minseok and yell at Yixing and sneak around with the other members since technically Minseok's the only one who's allowed to see Luhan—after a lot of begging and threatening to leave the band, which officials were not happy about since EXO-M still made a bit of money—at all. He's counting down the seconds, and after he's done his concert he plans to skype Minseok again and fall asleep while connected and wake up with a satisfactory notice telling him his battery is low and do the whole thing over while anticipating going back to that same comfy couch, until this whole thing'll play out again.


End file.
